in which i spill to have a better night sleep

as you could probably tell I took a break from blogging over the summer. I love it, but it was just on the bottom of the list.

but with school starting back up and new schedules and routines popping up like quizzes I figured it was about time to dive back in. I have things to say and photos to share and the whole nine yards I do, but before I start there I am feeling something tonight and think the only way Im going to be able to stop stressing is to get it off my chest and put it out there--


Im 27 years old, the exact age my fathers mother died of breast cancer. Its a weird feeling for me. this whole year has just haunted me in one way another and I just want to turn 28 already(77days!!) I bring this up because Ive noticed a soreness in the same area over the past few weeks. Its really only sensitive to touch and on a scale of 1 to 10 Id say its a 2 in discomfort/pain but one never knows how these things really start and don't even get me on why. Nonetheless Im still going to call the doctors and have a check up.

This is what I told myself last week and I still haven't called to make an appointment.

Im scared.

Im terrified to do it because once I make the appointment I have to go, and then I have to talk about it, and then they have to figure out if its really something or not.

Now lets take a breath, because the chances of it being nothing are high in my favor...but theres that small chance that my world could change. Right now Im walking around in this absolute blissful state of unawareness, yet some life changing event could be just beyond the horizon.

Right now I am planning our spring break vacation and learning to French braid Margots hair and walking Chaz to the bus stop every morning and his first time at playing soccer is gearing up next week and back to school prek shopping with Richie and considering going back to school to get my degree in English (or history I haven't decided) and cheering Royal on while he's annihilating the IT certification circuit.

I have a life I am actively participating in and its pretty great. I am so thankful for the love that is in my home, but this one phone call could leave me standing at a precipice that changes all of that and Im having a hard time willing myself to take that step.

I just needed to say this "out loud" if you will. I needed to get it off my chest.

Tomorrows the day. The day I make the call.

Night--
xO- Etheline

hello friday

i can't get enough of this song right now------>

enjoy.

and have a happy Father's Day weekend.

xO-Etheline

words to live by

{via}

Just a little reminder we can all benefit from.

Have a wonderful Thursday.




xO-Etheline

i woke up with the birds::

good morning sun

 

for the past few weeks I've been taking advantage of living so close to  Stone Mountain. Three mornings a week; in the blissful quiet I run anywhere from 2 to 3 miles. I really love it, and knowing my babies are all home in bed asleep is an extra perk.

 



 

This morning I decided instead of my normal exercise route I'd spice it up a bit. So I climbed to the top and ran down. Be careful if you ever choose to do this. I wouldn't recommend doing it if you are unfamiliar with the terrain. I, however, absolutely love running down. It is the most exhilarating feeling ever.

 



 

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Stone Mountain is a quartz monzonite dome monadnock, essentially a large rock. The base measures 5 miles around and the walk up trail to the top is 1.3 miles. I really recommend climbing it if you are ever in the area. The views are breathtaking, and if its a clear day you can even see Atlanta. If you aren't keen on a hike though there is a skyway rail that will bring you up and down...for a fee. 

 



See ya later. Time to run down.....

xO- Etheline

here we go::

Ya know, one of these days Ill get the hang of this whole regularly scheduled blogging thing.

Meanwhile....

We have a lot of going on right now. So much has happened and will be happening in the next few weeks. Some good-- some bad, but such is life.

You see I have this talent that allows me to ignore, put things out of my mind, put them on the back shelf...you get the idea. If its not something that I can fix or take care of at that time I dont let it stress me out. This usually has served me well over the years, but last month it caught up with me in a big way.

We have a decent savings, but when you have several things that could go up in flames at one time no amount of money makes a difference to me.  Uncertainty got the best of  me and I, as hard as it it to admit, had a panic attack. My first one ever-- sort of, the other one was when I had my eyebrows professionally dyed, but thats another story for another day.  Once recovered I had to lay all my cards on the table and come to terms with everything that I had been ignoring, no thats such a harsh word, everything I had been putting off dealing with.

Things like::

+I love my car, but will today be the day it dies on me?

+Should we sell the home we own, keep renting it out, up the price, stay the same?

+Do we use all of Royals vacation time and a chunk of our savings to go to New Hampshire and see his brother, his wife and their new baby?

+Do we homeschool Chaz again next year or send him to school with a great group of LDS kids from our ward thats ranked a 10?

+If we want Chaz to go to that school we need to move when our lease is up in July, but houses for rent in that area are few and far between.

+So if we cant find a house to rent that we will feel comfortable in for a few years do we just look to leave all together again??

+ Its been...{x years} since we've talked to Royals parents...should we try to reach out again. Have we healed enough for that yet? They are missing out on their grandchildrens lives.

+Speaking of children should we try for another one. Margot is already 2 which means at least a 3 year gap...our largest.

+Why am I so tired? I have no energy...oh thats right Im dealing with a bout of Anemia right now.

These are just some of the headliners--- but Im sure its enough to paint you a picture.

After some talks with Royal we formulated a game plan and he helped me get back on track. He's so patient with me and helps me back up in just the way I need-- 2 parts butt kicking to 1 part mushy husband. We dont have all the answers, but I know that God hears our prayers. I believe that the more we draw closer to him the more we will be blessed. That doesnt mean that its the easiest thing, turning to God. I am stubborn in this department, but the quicker I am to acknowledge him the better I feel; as a daughter of God, wife, and mother.

This past weekend we {Royal} found a home for rent. Not only in the school boundries we were hoping for, but in the development we only dreamt of living in. To top it all off its in our price range and a great house with excellent bones that make it easy to want stay a while; as opposed to moving every year when our lease is up. I love to meet new people and travel. I thrive off of it, but I realized Sunday while I was fasting that what we have here is good. We may long to be elsewhere with all of our hearts...so much so that it hurts sometimes. We are in a good place that will treat us well and we could make great friends if we let ourselves.

I am happy to receive understanding through the Holy Ghost. Its a testament to me that my savior really knows me personally and what I stand in need of. Everyday is a new day to practice relying on him instead of doing it alone and Im grateful that I get the chance to increase my faith.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend:)

xO-Etheline

Seven years

Today marks the 7th year that Royal and I were sealed together for time and all eternity in the Orlando, Florida temple. We decided to for go a big to do this year seeing as how our entire family is on the mend in some form or another, but that hasn't stopped me from getting caught up in my favorite memories we share together. 

In honor of my husband I wanted to share my favorite poem that matches the devotion and love I feel in the most eloquent wording I could only ever dream of penning.

If ever two were one, then surely we.

If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee.

If ever wife was happy in a man,

Compare with me, ye women, if you can.

I prize thy love more than whole Mines of gold

Or all the riches that the East doth hold.

My love is such that Rivers cannot quench,

Nor ought but love from thee give recompetence.

Thy love is such I can no way repay.

The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.

Then while we live, in love let's so persever

That when we live no more, we may live ever.

::Anne Bradstreet::

1641

Happy Anniversary darling. 

xO- Etheline

Note::  Anne Bradstreet was the first poet and first female writer in the British North American colonies to be published.

Met Gala::

I think most people would love to attend the Oscars, Golden Globes or some fancy Hollywood celebration, but not me.

No, I dream of attending the Met Gala. {hint hint Royal}

This years punk inspired theme had me a little worried to be honest, but I think quite a few people slayed it!! In my opinion Givenchy was the winning designer of the night. I loved all of their pieces, especially Rooney Mara's white plunging neckline gown along with her infamous black lip.

Katie Holmes look didn't scream punk, or even whisper it really, but I think she looked breath taking in Calvin Klein. In my eyes she can do no wrong. I love her.

Bravo Jennifer Lawrence, another impeccable move. The girl nails her fashion choices every time. I loved the netting she wore..it's was just the perfect touch.

SJP, the queen of couture, swept the red carpet in a Giles Deacon gown, which I loved! The headpiece was the cherry on top. Who else would have thought of that other than her?? Um.. No one!

I loved Anne Hathaway showing up with platinum hair..talk about commitment! Her Valentino gown gave off just the right amount of a torn punk look and high fashion. I could have gone without the fluffy cuffs at her wrist, but what are you gonna do. Tell Valentino to take them off?

I loved {LOEVD} Mink Kelly's Carolina Herrera gown. I though it was beautiful and her hair was breath taking. The end.

Im not sure if Nina Dobrev forgot to change costumes or what but she killed it with Monique Lhuillier. I loved the body suit look underneath with the open skirt. Punk meets steamy:)

Am I the only one who loved Kristen Stewarts Stella McCartney jumpsuit? Please say no!! This girl has had her fair share of fashion failures, in my opinion, but I think this time around she nailed it. I love the oxblood color and lace cutouts straight down. Simply marvelous! And I think her eye make up is my favorite of the night.

In conclusion--

Best dressed over all: Rooney Mara

Worst dressed over all: Kim Kardasian. This was like a super bad version, and insult, to Lucy Lui's Carolina Herrera Oscar dress. I really want to sit down and put my arm around this woman and clue her in on how to dress while pregnant. It's not all moo-moo's but you cant keep trying to fit into your normal clothes. That's another blog post for another day though--